


The One with Elia Setting Osvaldo on Fire - or, alternatively, the One Where Everybody Is at Fault, Except for Elia, Naturally

by popi_finnigan



Series: The One With... [1]
Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 03:05:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18111971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popi_finnigan/pseuds/popi_finnigan
Summary: After watching the third clip of 3x01, I kept picturing Elia setting poor Osvaldo on fire, wondering how the hellthathappened, and suddenly I was writing this thing.It's a silly drabble with the Contrabbandieri.





	The One with Elia Setting Osvaldo on Fire - or, alternatively, the One Where Everybody Is at Fault, Except for Elia, Naturally

The whole thing is Luchino’s fault really. After all, we were all peacefully drinking beer, sprawling around on the floor in Nico’s living room, when Luchino suggested that we play _Truth or Dare_. And okay, what if I was the one who vetoed the ‘truth’ part? It was only logical! In most of the interesting stuff we have done, at least one of the others was involved, and for the rest… who could trust these fuckers? I mean, Luchino once had a tall tale about a girl without a clitoris for crying out loud. So it’s only dares.

The first few are quite tame: dance with no music for two minutes straight, send a text, composed by the others, to the first person in your contact list, lick the floor, sing praises about a football player of the others’ choosing, and so on.

Tame, like I said.

 

But then, Giovanni has to do fifty sit-ups (it’s not a cruel challenge, no matter what anyone claims), during which he also needs to excuse himself to throw up in the bathroom, because surprise, alcohol and sit-ups are not a good combination (and okay, the challenge might be a tiny bit cruel on my part, sue me, I had to lick the fucking floor, Garau), so, understandably, he is not in a good mood. Proving this, he challenges Luchino to only speak in rhymes for the rest of the game… and yeah, that puts everyone else in a sour mood. The dares, that at the start were aimed at amusing us and, okay, humiliating the recipient of them a little, now are just plain savage, and everything— just escalates. Thanks, Garau.

Martino has to fake-propose to Sana (the result is a five-minute long, brutal telling off from her, until Martino manages to snatch the phone from Luchino’s hand and hang up; side note: Sana never says no during her rant), Nico has to drink three glasses of milk under a minute (that’s another trip to the bathroom…), and I, well, I have to sing the Ave Maria to Sofi (and there goes any chance I ever had with this girl). Basically, it’s a war now.

 

For a while it’s contained, at least in a territorial sense. All dares can be done in Nico’s apartment, or in the close proximity of it. But soon, we get even drunker and bolder, and Martino has to buy kids champagne in the 24 hour mini market while wearing a bag on his head, and Giovanni has to outrun me (I’m on my bike, of course). At 1 a.m. we find ourselves at the school’s gate. Nico has to get us in, but I am the one who has to shout “Seeing A.C. Milan win is better than sex” from the rooftop. And I’m sorry, but really, Martino? From then on, he has really no one to blame but himself, he is the starter of the unfolding chain of events, that’s clear as day. The dares become more convoluted and more ridiculous. I make Marti draw the cheesiest things I can think of on the classrooms’ boards (and of course, he has to sign the drawings), then Martino dares Luca to shower with his clothes on, and Luca challenges Niccolò to break into the teacher’s office (Nico, by the way, is alarmingly good at breaking into places, just saying) and replace a test paper with an obscene poem written by him on the spot. Then, Nico blanks, and only Marti can think of something for me to do. That’s something is to take a picture of Osvaldo (stuffed animal, blue, the mascot of the school radio, super ugly) smoking a cigarette without setting him on fire. It’s the stupidest dare I have ever heard, and have I mentioned already, how all of this is Marti’s fault?

So Osvaldo catches fire, and surprisingly Luchino is the quickest on his feet, so he is the one who manages to put it out.

We all agree to never talk about the incident.

 

The promise is quite unnecessary, at least in the next morning, because none of us is in talking mood. It’s two in the afternoon, we already ate a light breakfast/lunch, when one of us finally utters a whole sentence.

“Ugh, I have the worst hangover,” Giovanni groans. “And a bruise. Anyone knows anything about this bruise on my elbow?”

“The sit-ups?” Nico guesses, and I cackle.

Giovanni looks like he wants to punch me, but then he decides against it. It would probably take too much effort. Instead, he flips me off.

“Ugh,” Giovanni says again, then after a few minutes of contemplation, he adds, “please remind me the next time Nico invites us to a boys’ night to his place to say no.”

Martino agrees. “Please remind me to talk Nico out of inviting you three to our boys’ nights.”

“Yeah, but those are very different boys’ nights,” Luchino mumbles.

Instead of agreeing with him (but let’s be honest, he isn’t wrong, we wouldn’t want to be invited to those nights that Marti talks about), I snap my fingers at Nico.

“That’s right. The whole thing is _your_ fault.”

Because I mean… if Nico hadn’t invited us to his apartment and to his endless amount of beer stock there, basically every stupid shit we did last night could have been avoided, including me setting Osvaldo on fire— but we are not talking about that one. The point is that it’s no one else’s fault, but Nico’s. The end.


End file.
